time is flying

nine years has almost gone like a wind. just thought of it when i saw an email about 59th year independence day celebrations of india. I clearly remember 50 th year celebrations during my 10th standard in my school. I was part of the decorations committee and I had to paste the 50th year in the big banner we produced for the celebration.

Those days are really golden I even acted in a tamil skit about a freedom fighter on that day. I was only a soldier in the skit, but the main character (vanchinathan i guess) kills some british officer in a train. ramakrishnan of my class played the lead as he is good in speaking long tamil sentences, but my tamil teacher (vasantha) had to really work hard on his movements (body language) to get him ready.

None of those days have gone out of my eyes and bam here i am 9 years later in a different part of the world. Its always great to think about the past and rejoice it. But present is even greater i guess because this is going to be the past that I can think and rejoice sometime later.

oru maalai song by me

try to listen to this song i have sung with a reasonable karaoke running behind.
please give me ur friendly comments.

just a 60 sec one as i dont want to bore you guyz a lot.

Click for Song here

orumalai song from the movie gajini.

just in case if u want to hear more leave ur email id in the comments. also is there a better way so that i can just upload the file in blogspot rather than leaving the link

confusions

Tuesday night 10 PM i am sitting in school in front of my pc waiting for some simulation results. The only consolation at this time is the ilayaraja's or rahman's music that i keep listening to. So though of writing a blog on my mindset right now in this waiting time.

Life as a phd student has not been a smooth sailing, interest in research has been slowly fading. Previously, a year and a half back I would love to work on nights and weekends. Just like your wireless plan with free nights and weekends. But now a days I am doing things like a 9-5 job and not really motivating me to come to school and do useful work. Being a very slow worker I know i have to do extra hours to be impressive but mind is not listening much to my brain of late.

Also things like going to ordinary software or verification job (or other consultancy kind job) is interesting me, on the other hand i want to be an out of ordinary guy (if not extraordinary) doing some research and being proud about the fact that you are doing what your mind tells you to do rather than being a workhorse for someone else's idea.

The main reason for the above insecurity or disinterest as a phd student, is that i have never worked in any company (corporate world). I have only been in an academic environment, eventhough I have worked in several research problems, I always think working for a product, hard deadline, as a group in a company is better. So this thought goes to the saying "the grass is always greener on the other side of the bank" coz i hear from several of my friends that life is becoming really routine for them. Eventhough my brain knows it, my mind is constantly confusing me to try alternate things in life. I know phd is good, have a lot of options once i reach the end of the tunnel. standing and looking around in a long dark tunnel while you are half way through is very scary, confusing and you always want to use the emergency exit.

To be continued .......................